***more at the link below***
And here we go again… this custody battle is taking place, not to “support” the attorney we are paying, we are doing this because it is the right (and in the best interest) thing to do our granddaughter. Then we get a bill (I guess our retain fee has been used up), for $897. Now i realize that custody battles are NOT cheap and lawyers do this stuff to get paid… but seriously, doesn’t anyone really care about the health and well-being of this child?
This whole fiasco (see earlier post) of the father not bringing our grandaughter home (we have primary custody) when he is supposed to – and my wife got admonished for letting him take her. We have no clear guidelines on what we are legally allowed to do and allow, and our lawyer charges us for each and every inquiry, whether by email, phone call, or visit. My research shows me that they do this on purpose, to get more money, but hey… we will continue to pay them, because we are doing this for the best interest of the child, and NOT to become rich.
But at the end of the day, my wife really is thinking about firing our lawyer.
~ to be continued ~
So… father (never been a “daddy” to this baby) dearest is supposed to be returning our grandchild today. *Yes, it’s been two weeks already. – I never would have agreed to letting him take her out of state, but I’m trying to play nice, and all…
But guess what? Yesterday he tells my wife he wont be able to bring her home until Friday. He CLAIMS he will be fired if he takes the time off. Ummmm… He arranged the date for picking her up, what happened to arranging the date for returning her? It’s not our fault that he lives several states away (ran back to mamas house waaaay back – close to two years ago, now), essentially abandoning her to our daughter.
Also, in the “written agreement” he is supposed to have his mother with him when picking up/dropping off our grand child (not verbatim), the last time he came, he had two friends with him. He “borrowed” our car seat and it was supposed to be returned right after he was dropped off at the train station. That was two weeks ago, and still no car seat.
~ a liar AND a thief he is, ***and we have police reports to back that statement up as well.
I could go on… but…
*** to be continued ***
This is day number one of (I’ll call him) “Matt” visiting his daughter. It has been nearly 6 months since he has spent any real time (and that was only a day) with his daughter and before that, a year.
In the mediation, we agreed to allow him the days surrounding her birthday, so here he is to collect on that promise. I hope he is ready for poopy diapers and sleepless nights (just for starters), and I KNOW he isn’t.
I worry for my granddaughters safety. He has proven that he is not capable of taking care of a child (let alone himself) he is taking her overnight (supervised) and he plans to take her to the ocean tomorrow? ***ish
He isn’t allowed to leave the state, but you never can trust disgruntled fathers that have physiological problems. I worry…
What can ya do? Even with his background of drug abuse, physical abuse, physiological problems, criminal activity, lying, cheating, (I’m leaving a lot out)… we don’t want to deny him his parental responsibilities. ***whatever*** (rolling eyes)
I know he isn’t capable, but in the eyes of the law it must be proved that he is unfit and unworthy.
What can you do?
***Day number one comes to the close***
Mediation day came and went with a few hiccups. We didn’t stick to the plan we had laid out, but… it wasnt a total disaster either. We agreed on a few visitation days for him (supervised of course). *sigh*
What did we get? Hmmm, that’s a very good question. We have had physical custody, but now we actually have legal custody too (bout time, I’ve only been requesting some-thing since February). So I can finally get Kennedy medical insurance, through my employer. The father says he has the paperwork to do the same thing… funny thing is, he was (and still is) missing needed information to do that; middle name (yeah, his daughter and he doesn’t know it) actual birthdate (when asked, he only knew the month, not the day), and social security number (once only used for employment purposes, now it’s needed for almost everything – and no he didn’t/doesn’t know it). – Just for starters.
***Out of the loop and STILL out of his mind***
We don’t want to deny him his child, IF he can prove that he is mentally able to care for her, financially able (meaning he has stable employment *he’s had more jobs in three years, then then I have fingers) and can lay off the drug use. *he is an admitted drug abuser*
… He is also the one that ran from this state (another story for another time)
Court date has been set *again* because of the “mediation” demand (they do that in this state), the original date was pushed off till later. *I can hardly wait to get this “ball” further down the hill – it’s been too long now*
One final note, when people talk about custody battles, I see the majority as being between a husband and wife and the divorce that they have gone through. In our case it is between the grandparents (us) and the father after our daughter died.
Custody battles are not always about divorced parents, but some-times it’s about parents of the parents; about loving family members that care enough to step up and do what’s right for those that can’t do for themselves.
All this paperwork is enough to drive anyone batty. When first I was reading the information we were to give the attorney, I read it as they requiring me to come up with three (3) years of check stubs. Really? Three years worth? Good golly, why three years? ~the reality of the situation is, they really asked for the last six (6) months worth. LoL! Well, that’s a load off my mind.
What really bites my ass, is that my wife is named as the Defendant, and only her. I am named only as a co-ocupant of the house. I am the only one doing the (income producing) hard labor of full time employment, my wife; being a stay at home mother, has no income, how then is she required to provide employment records (such as pay stubs)? Hmmmmm…